Online Counsellors

Work with a therapist online!

admin — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 17:59:48 +0000

Online therapy allows you to work with an expert therapist in your own time and at your own pace.

No waiting lists and no need to book an appointment! Online therapy is totally confidential, allowing you to work with an expert therapist in complete privacy.

Book Email Therapy

Begin work with an experienced therapist right away! Book using the buttons below.

If you’d prefer to book a session with a particular therapist please search our Therapist List.

If you’d like to book an instant chat session Click Here.

One-Off Email Consultation – £25

A one-off consultation is an ideal option if you would like to explore an immediate challenge or issue with a therapist. It works as follows:

a. You send initial enquiry.

b. Your therapist responds within 24 hours.

c. You send your response to the therapy e-mail with your thoughts, feelings and comments.

d. Your therapist provides an indepth response within 48 hours.

e. (Optional) You might wish to follow up on some points/issues in your therapist’s reply.

f. Your therapist replies briefly.

Book a one-off counselling or therapy session, £25.

After payment you will be directed to a form where you will be able to provide a small amount of introductory information about yourself, so that we can assign the most suitable therapist.

Regular Email Counselling or Therapy – £69

With this option you work with your therapist over three email sessions. This is a good option if you wish to work on a current challenge or issue with your therapist. It works as outlined above, for three sessions.

Book 3 email counselling or therapy sessions, £69.

After payment you will be directed to a form where you will be able to provide a small amount of introductory information about yourself, so that we can assign the most suitable therapist.

Extensive Email Counselling or Therapy – £159

Extensive therapy is a good option if you would like to work with a therapist for a longer period, probably over several weeks or even months. It includes seven email sessions in all. Each session works as described above.

Book 7 email therapy sessions, £159.

After payment you will be directed to a form where you will be able to provide a small amount of introductory information about yourself, so that we can assign the most suitable therapist.

Talk to a therapist now!

admin — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 16:31:08 +0000

Our instant chat service allows you to talk to a therapist at a time and place to suit you. No appointments and no waiting lists!

The chat service is available every day, between 9am – 10pm UK time, including weekends and holidays, so you can get the support you need when you need it.

Book now

Click the button below to make your payment. You will be automatically redirected to a Chat page where you can begin talking to your therapist immediately.

Because of the immediate nature of this service we cannot guarentee the presence of a particular therapist, you will be assigned one of our available therapists at the time of booking.

As with all of our counselling services this service is only suitable for clients 18 years of age or older. By booking a session you are confirming that you are over 18 years.

If you encounter any problems while ordering, or during your instant chat session, please contact us.

15 minute instant chat session – £20

30 minute instant chat session – £35

Meet our Therapists!

admin — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 16:19:46 +0000

All of our therapists are experienced professionals with extensive experience of working with clients like you. They understand that every client is an individual with his or her own unique issues, and will listen without being judgemental.

Many of our online therapists also have traditional counselling or psychotherapy practices, and you can choose to work with them face-to-face if you prefer. Learn more about our therapists here.

Find Therapist

A Missing Personality Trait

admin — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 18:09:30 +0000

Guest Article
by Joan Chamberlain

Deeper Look at Personality Traits In a Relationship

When Ashley came to talk last night, I expected Mike to be with her. But instead, she was alone. He’d gone grocery shopping and had completely lost track of time. She was disappointed and frustrated at the same time. She and Mike are planning to marry in a year or so.

Mike is divorced with two children, 14 and 8. Ashley is also divorced but has no children. Before they get married, she wants to talk out some things she’s concerned about. Better to exchange thoughts and settle issues now. Fortunately, he agrees. So, why wasn’t he here?

About 10 minutes into our talk, Mike called. He was home. And, he’d thought he could leave right away and still make our meeting, but now can’t find his car keys. The rest of my talk with Ashley was spent on two topics, both coming out of this incident. It turns out; this behavior is not unusual for Mike.

Current Situation.

Ashley and Mike are both financial planners and while they don’t work with each other, they work at the same firm. Yesterday they drove to work together in her car. Ashley assumed they would ride home together. But, in the late morning, Mike needed to go to a client’s office. He told Ashley he’d be taking the car; that was fine with her. She assumed he’d be back by 7:00 p.m. when she’d be ready to leave the office.

At 7:15 p.m. there was no Mike, no car and no call from him. Ashley texted him but got no response. Finally, she called and found him at home with his kids, having dinner. Mike had completely forgotten she didn’t have a car; it had simply gone out of his mind. Ashley took a cab home.

As she was telling me about this, Mike called again to say he’d finally found his car keys in the snow outside by the car. He must have dropped them when he unloaded the groceries. Could he still come? No, we’d be finished by the time he arrived.

While Ashley is really patient and understanding with Mike in situations like this, it happens every day in some way. To say it’s annoying is an understatement. Though she loves him very much, she’s really anxious about (1) living with his flaky disorganization (absolute chaos), and (2) raising a child with him. Why? This is the way most Comfort style people behave. They lack organization skills and, worse, they expect someone else (whoever) to do it for them. What if their child imitates Mike’s behavior?

Ashley’s the opposite; she’s the Superiority (goal-setting) style, maybe even a little exaggerated. But, she also has the Control Over Her Situation style; she’s great with order and organization. How does she do it? She makes a to-do list every morning. Why? It empties her mind and gets her thoughts on paper where she can see them. Once a list is made, she may even reprioritize the items on it. Again, why? See the payoffs from her process below.

(1) Ashley’s process (skill) makes sure that immediate things get done on time.

(2) It also insures that she uses her time efficiently. There’s no wondering where things are, no doing things over again because something’s been lost. There’s no wasting time. In using this process: her order/organization skill, she makes sure deadlines are met at work and goals are met at home. Nothing falls through the cracks.

(3) Ashley’s anxiety falls as she doesthis process. Because she’s dropped that anxiety, she’s free to focus all her concentration and energy on moving through her day.

(4) It feels wonderful to check off the tasks as she completes them. Ashley loves this feeling; it means that she’s moving ahead. Both movement and completing her goals are Superiority style core qualities.

(5) Having the planning-ahead skill means life goes smoother and, therefore, much calmer. No heightened anxiety. By contrast, Mike lives in chaos. And, when they’re together, so does she. Witness the above situation.

What’s Wrong?

On the other hand, Mike’s process is: (1) He promises something. Ex: coming back to pick up Ashley, (2) Ashley expects him to follow through (because he promised), (3) he doesn’t follow through, (4) she’s disappointed or resentful or angry or all of it because, (5) her life and their relationship are now seriously affected (because it happens over and over and over), and Ashley’s worried; she knows that love feelings are fragile and can’t stay whole indefinitely before they’re badly affected.

Fortunately, Mike sees the benefits of Ashley’s process and would like to have it. He’s often frustrated with himself because his life is so chaotic; the process of “being in charge of himself” is something he just never had to learn. So, building it would not only help out in his daily life, but it would also mean his relationship would go a lot smoother. How to do it?

Solutions.

(1) Mike must slow down, both his thoughts and his body. His mind is busy but scattered and since he doesn’t capture his thoughts in any way, on paper, or in an iPhone (or some other device), his mind continues to be busy but scattered throughout the day. He acts on those thoughts that are most immediately important (having dinner ready for his kids), but literally forgets the others. In this case, Ashley.

(2) Mike has to build a new skill, one that reminds him that now he’s the one who is responsible for planning his everyday life. That means he can’t just react.

When Mike was growing up, his mom did the household tasks while he did school and sports. During his first marriage, his wife worked so they could afford a daily housekeeper; she did a lot of the chores, errands and scheduling for the family. When Mike’s wife stayed at home, she did the day-to-day chores and errands. At work he has two assistants that structure his day. Since Mike has never lived on his own, there’s never been a reason for him to think about it any of it: lists, structuring his off-work hours, and so on.

(3) As Mike builds a responsible daily process he can count on, he should tune into the feelings that it brings. He’ll find that actually knowing what he’s doing at the moment and knowing what he’s doing next, produces great feelings. His overwhelmed and scattered feelings will gradually disappear. In their place he’ll notice that he feels more certain, more confident, stronger. He can finally trust himself. Great. These dividends are well worth the effort.

Big Thoughts In This Article.

1.Understand that by the time we reach our late teen years or early twenties each of us should be enough in charge of ourselves that we don’t live in chaos or draw anyone else into it.

2.Understand that many of us for various reasons do reach our adult years without various practical living skills. It’s nothing to be defensive about; we can learn what we need to.

3.Understand that as we learn organization and order skills we equip ourselves to be proactive and so can direct our lives instead of reacting to life. What a relief!

Warm wishes until next time,

Joan

Joan Chamberlain is an author, therapist, and life coach with over 30 years of experience helping adults, couples, and teens. She has a Bachelor’s degree in Business and Finance, a Bachelor’s in education, and a Masters in individuals, couples, and family counseling. Her book, Smart Relationships, has helped many people achieve the self-awareness needed to see themselves honestly. Its wisdom has helped them work toward improving their relationships with themselves, their friends, and their families.

To learn more about the ideas and concepts presented in her articles, please peruse her website: http://www.joanchamberlain.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/

Click below to find an online therapist who can help you with this issue:

Find Therapist

How to Deal With Step-Family Problems

admin — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 15:59:00 +0000

Guest Article
by Sylvia Benish

For children there is the worry about living with step-siblings, concern about their relationship with a step-parent but also how the marriage will affect their relationship with their own parent. It will take work and time to feel comfortable and to be able to function together as a family.

For the parents, it will be important to start planning well before the wedding day; to lay the foundations for their new family; to give everyone a chance to get to know each other; to allow the children to get used to the idea of a remarriage and to establish somewhat of a relationship with their stepchildren before the marriage takes place.

It is a good idea to try to experience some real life situations together, not just fun times before the marriage. It will be important to parent from the same page, i.e.: make sure to discuss your parenting styles and agree on important issues before you make that big step. Parents should show a united front with the children.

It will be important to have realistic expectations and not to expect too much in the beginning. Respect for everyone in the family should be the first rule. Have consistent rules and discipline consistently and be fair with chores and allowances with all children. Be non-judgmental, positive, unified, establish trust and do things together. Discuss rules and expected boundaries with all of the children. In the beginning, the biological parent should be mainly responsible for the discipline and the step-parent can function in a friend capacity role until solid bonds have been established and trust in the relationship has been developed.

Changes in family traditions can be problematic to young children especially. Try to keep some of the traditions that your children were used to and also establish rituals and traditions of your own for the new family. Children want to feel secure, safe, loved, valued and appreciated. To do this it will be important to show a lot of affection, be consistent and to have firm boundaries.

Having a successful blended family will also mean having a solid and loving couple relationship. It will be important not to fight in front of the children and to show a unified, affectionate relationship with each other as well. Children are very adept at locating the chinks in a relationship and may possibly work at the cracks they see in their new family structure. This will especially be the case if they are not altogether happy with the new status quo.

Step-families can be successful but the comfort of the original family will not happen right away. It will take time for the new family members to get to know each other, to trust each other and to realize that they really are a family.

Sylvia Behnish has written numerous articles relating to family issues, motivational topics, entertaining, travel and brain injuries. For more information on any of these topics, go to her sites listed below. She has recently published her first non-fiction book entitled “Rollercoaster Ride With Brain Injury (For Loved Ones)” and her first fiction novel entitled “His Sins”, a three generation family saga.

Either of the above books can be ordered by e-mail at the following blogs:

http://www.sbehnish.blogspot.com

http://www.progressofabraininjury.blogspot.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/

Click below to find an online therapist who can help you with this issue:

Find Therapist

Talking Through Your Family Problems

admin — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 15:47:14 +0000

Guest Article
by Angela Lankenhurst

Telling someone you need to talk to them can result in a range of reactions on their behalf. They might fear that you are going to tell them something upsetting, but then again they might also be pleased to sit down for a chat. Talking is something that many of us learn to do at a young age, but communicating is not as simple as that.

For families, this lack of communication can prove even more difficult. If parents are not able to discuss issues in a forthcoming manner, parent support and advice can sometimes help to remove the barriers. But for some people, even the encouragement for them to talk does not always prove effective. Some people choose to ignore problems, or simply walk away to avoid confrontation and reconciliation.

Whilst we may all have some form of secret from our loved ones, communicating regularly can be effective at keeping major discrepancies at bay. It can be as simple as having a casual family meeting once a week, or having a natter with your other half over the washing up in the evening. The washing up trick can be handy if you have your teenage children hanging around; they probably won’t want to do the cleaning and might stay out of the way!

If you want to get into the habit of regular communication with your family members, the following may prove handy tips for your discussions:

When someone else is speaking, try to be polite and listen quietly,

Be interested in what other people are saying,

Try to avoid making assumptions about what others are thinking,

Avoid “grown-up” conservations around the children.

Lastly, it might be a good idea to try and consider the mood of your family before you start having a difficult conversation with them. Even if you are just talking to your partner, bad moods can often play a difficult part in reaching resolutions. If the chat starts escalating into an argument, it might be more productive to take time to cool down, and pick up the conservation later with a composed head.

Angela Lankenhurst writes a number of articles about parenting, including those about parent support and advice.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/

Click below to find an online therapist who can help you with this issue:

Find Therapist

The Unrequited Nature of Loss

admin — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 15:29:45 +0000

Guest Article
by Steve Wickham

At the temple, there is a poem called ‘Loss’ carved into the stone. It has three words, but the poet has scratched them out. You cannot read Loss, only feel it.
~Sayuri Narration, Memoirs of a Geisha (2005).

The deepest mystery of life is that loss is woven into its innermost fabric; we’re touched never more sincerely than at the time of visceral pain.

There is an unrequited nature in loss that, despite our search, reveals itself just as mysterious and enigmatic at the last as it was at the first. Yet, we emerge.

THE NEED TO SEARCH DESPITE MEANINGLESSNESS

This incomprehensible nature doesn’t stop us searching, however. Indeed, we are indebted to search and to reveal the meaning of such meaninglessness. If we didn’t search we would fall into a hole, swallowed by the abyss of seeming tranquillity that, ironically, numbs us from healing.

This further convolutes the mystery.

What must be searched, yet cannot be reconciled, may seem bombastically callous on the part of a caring God. Still, the devil is behind that lie!

The need to search despite the meaninglessness in loss is not so much about discovery, or even self-discovery, but it’s the process through to renewal – the caterpillar within becoming a butterfly.

COMING TO ACCEPT NEWNESS

Truth be told, we undergo many losses and many transformations through life. This occurs whether we like it or not.

To negate the reality of the coming butterfly, to remain a caterpillar, is to reverse an indelible trend – such a wish, entrapped of fearful desire, cannot be blessed. It is, instead, cursed to a shrivelling death of a life enshrined in customised portrayals of denial, anger, depression, and bargaining; even cycling through these without end.

To accept newness, but never prematurely, we necessarily and willingly relinquish what we have, or had-the latter recognising what was once ours is now gone, forever.

NO ACCEPTANCE WITHOUT REALISATION

In another great twist, loss cannot ultimately be accepted without a full realisation that life is now changed and cannot be changed back.

What is now ever different cannot get back what it never had.

Loss is like setting out on a journey, and as we finally find our way to the destination, we recognise the origin no more – it has vanished or become something irrevocably different.

To accept the new identity – to feel home ‘there’ – we must renounce important facets of the old. This cannot be anything but a process, for our humanity respects with awe the construction and being of our developed identity.

Adjusting to loss – a non-reciprocating phenomenon – involves mystery. No one can tell us how to do it. There is no formula that can be followed. But, it is a search, and that search will be found fruitful, somehow, if one does not give up.

Steve Wickham is a Registered Safety Practitioner (BSc, FSIA, RSP[Australia]) and a qualified, unordained Christian minister (GradDipBib&Min). His blogs are at: http://epitemnein-epitomic.blogspot.com/ and http://inspiringbetterlife.blogspot.com/

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/

Click below to find an online therapist who can help you with this issue:

Find Therapist

On Depression: Function of Sadness and Anger

admin — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 15:23:19 +0000

Guest Article
by Adam J Biec

Depression and sadness. What’s the difference? Whenever we feel “blue, sad, depressed” we are actually experiencing a loss. This loss can be tangible such as the loss of a job, or something material which we were attached to, a person that is dear to us, or something less tangible such as our sense of who we are.

Sadness is a process, which if we allow to take place, allows us to accept the loss, whatever form the loss takes place. You can think of the feeling of sadness as a signal that is communicating to you that your mind is rearranging old patterns that used to include the thing you lost to no longer take that thing into account as much.

Depression on the other hand, I would describe as “a constant assault on your being.” Depression is essentially long-term sadness. The sources of depression could be, for example, being surrounded by people that explicitly or implicitly put down who you believe to be, and therefore, you constantly experience sadness. You can also be your own source of depression. For example, you can be saying negative things to yourself about yourself. If this is your M.O. then you’re bound to get depressed.

So, to sum it up, sadness is a signal that you’re losing something. An analogy that speaks to the common sadness that we all experience when someone “hurts our feelings” (an assault on who we believe to be), would be getting cut by a knife. You’re hurting, but over time, you heal. Depression on the other hand, is like getting cut by a knife over and over again. You’re constantly hurting and constantly healing.

Therapeutically speaking, the “antidote” to sadness and depression is anger at that which hurt us originally. Some psychoanalytic / Gestalt folk would say that depression is suppressed anger. Personally, I think that’s an assumption that anger is always present during psychological pain. It can be brought about, but does not have to be there. Sadness and anger have different functions. Sadness’s function is to accept a loss, while anger’s function is to protect from loss. I believe that we have a choice– if we feel that we do not need to integrate the sense of loss, then we have the option of getting angry (ex: Someone cuts us off in traffic). However, if for whatever reason we decide that it is necessary to integrate that sense of loss, then we can choose to stay with our sadness (ex: Death of a loved one).

Visit http://revelationsofapsychotherapist.blogspot.com for other related topics.

http://revelationsofapsychotherapist.blogspot.com/

Ed.M. in Mental Health Counseling, Columbia U.
Trained in Gestalt Psychotherapy

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/

Click below to find an online therapist who can help you with this issue:

Find Therapist

Fostering Resilience in Hard Times

admin — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 11:45:52 +0000

Guest article by John Mondello

Since the start of what some are calling “The Great Recession,” many of us have had to deal with the loss of financial resources and job security, and the struggling economy has made it difficult to hope for a brighter future. Many have had to curb spending, taken second jobs, or even put off retirement. How does one deal internally with the added anxiety and an overwhelming sense of uncertainty. In short, how do we foster resilience in today’s world.

The American Psychological Association defines resilience as “the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or even significant sources of stress — such as family and relationship problems, serious health problems, or workplace and financial stressors. It means “bouncing back” from difficult experiences.” Studies have shown that resilience isn’t a trait that an individual is born with, but involves thoughts, behaviors and actions that can be learned and developed in anyone. There are some key ways to foster resilience within ourselves.

Nurture and Reconnect with Caring and Supportive Relationships.

The first and most important factor is having caring and supportive family, friends and acquaintances. Trusting relationships that create love, provide role models, and offer encouragement and reassurance help bolster ones personal resilience. In the everyday grind of daily work and family life, we sometimes forget to maintain connections with friends, family and loved ones. One can identify supportive relationships and reestablish connections through reaching out, planning a reunion, or even taking the time for a long overdue phone call.

Identify and take part in activities that promote mental and physical health.

Proactively establishing a daily regimen of activities that nurture spiritual and mental health prepares us when stressors or traumas arise unexpectedly. Daily exercise and good nutrition can bolster both mental and physical health. Taking time for activities that are enjoyable and relaxing can help us de-stress. Of course limit activities that involve quick fixes, such as that extra helping of food or mind altering substances. They can drain our resources and lead to health or addiction problems when relied on regularly as a coping strategy.

Become solution oriented.

Studies have shown that resilient people have good problem solving skills, and they react to crisis with action rather then immobility. It’s not that they don’t feel emotional pain or stress over difficult circumstances, however, they focus on solutions rather then circumstance outside their control. This is sometimes easier said then done, so breaking down possible courses of action into small achievable steps can foster feelings of self reliance and esteem.

Try to see the big picture.

Sometimes it’s easy to become mired down and excessively focused on the event or stressor. Resilient persons tend to have a long term perspective and to see things in a broader context. Try to perceive things within the scope of our lifetimes. Often looking back to times when we’ve overcome events that at the time seemed insurmountable can help us do so.

Accept and express your emotions or grief.

Strong emotions and sadness can consume us when we keep them to ourselves, or worse deny that they exist at all. They tend to lose there power to immobilize us when we allow ourselves to accept them, and especially when we express them to others. Reaching out to a supportive friend or loved one and verbalizing feelings can be cathartic and help one move forward. Accurately identifying and expressing emotions can help us manage them more effectively.

Identify and strengthen a sense of spirituality.

People who have survived insurmountable odds often have one thing in common. They tend to have strong spiritual beliefs and see themselves as part of a larger purpose. A sense of spirituality can be fostered in many ways depending on a person’s belief system and values. It can mean consistently and actively practicing your religion, volunteering, feeling a part of or spending time in nature, or simply being an active part of the community. So identifying whatever nurtures our own spirituality and moving toward that can provide strength in times of adversity.

Reach out in times of need.

As stated in factor one, persons who demonstrate resilience are connected to others, and have strong social support networks. They recognize that self reliance is important, yet also readily reach out to others in times of difficulty. Recognizing and accepting that we can’t go it alone can be our strength, rather then a weakness. This can be reaching out to a friend or loved one, joining a community or self help group, or if need be seeking the help of a licensed mental health professional. It is important to get professional help if you feel like you are unable to complete everyday activities or function as a result of traumatic or stressful life experiences.

Often we marvel at that person who seems to bounce back readily with a positive spirit in the face of hardship, loss, or adversity. In reality, we all have the potential to build on our own inner resources and foster the resilience within ourselves. Certainly the state of the world and the economy are overwhelming, however, incorporating the above factors into our life can help us stay healthy until the better times that are sure to come.

John Mondello is a psychotherapist and licensed health care professional who specializes in Anxiety Disorders and Depression. He can be reached at (845) 752- 3377 or johnmondello@counselingforanxiety.com. Check out his website at http://www.counselingforanxiety.com.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/

Click below to find an online therapist who can help you with this issue:

Find Therapist

Useful Links

admin — Sun, 11 Sep 2011 19:44:11 +0000

Borders Counselling – Online counselling, coaching and mentoring.

Childcare Training – Childcare training directory, with free ebook on child psychology and online training course.

Counselling UK – Online directory of counselors and psychologists throughout the UK.

Counselors Online – Online counseling and therapy with expert therapists.

Couple Therapy Online – Advice for couples and families from expert therapists.

Edinburgh Garden School – Online gardening and horticulture courses from the gardening spacialists.

Employee Counselling – Online Workplace Counselling.

Learning Curve – One of the Uk’s leading distance learning providers.

Horticulture Courses – Directory of horticulture and gardening courses.

Learning Curve – Online courses from Learning Curve, one of the UK’s leading distance learning providers.

Borders Online Counselling – Online counselling and therapy with expert counsellors.

School for Writers – a leading provider of online writingcourses.

Borders Relationships – online relationship therapy and sex therapy.

Virtual Ocean – Release messages and emotions into the digital ocean.

Borders Business Mentors – Online business advice, articles and mentoring.

Explore Gardening – Online directory of gardeners and garden designers, as well as gardening articles and courses.

What is Therapy – Information and advice about different types of therapy.

Your Course Finder – Online directory of courses, including online, distance learning, part-time and full-time courses.